I never thought I’d have children, let alone have a child & end up being a single parent. I’m always asked what’s it being a single mum? To a point I never thought about it till we started having nursery visits & nursery parents evening, it then dawned on me how much I hate it. I’ll leave that to another blog post though.
This is how I find being a single mum!
So… What’s it like being a single mum?
Up until recently I didn’t even think of myself as a single mum, I just thought of myself as ‘A MUM’, nothing more & certainly nothing less.
I guess, it started to really hit me about the difference when we had our first stay & play session at B’s nursery. I walked in & nearly all the ladies were stood with their partners. I felt immediately rubbish about the fact that I was on my own & that I didn’t have a partner there with me, supporting me & B.
I felt sad that B didn’t have the same as the other children, instead he had just me.
I really did kick myself about this & it gave me silly thoughts. Thoughts of putting myself into a position where I wouldn’t be happy but B would have a ‘family unit’. So thats the first feeling of true upset I’ve had for being a single mum.
Thankfully its the only time where I’ve actually been quite upset over it, I guess you just want your child to have the easiest, ‘normal’ life & not be picked on for ANYTHING. Especially something completely out of his control.
I know it probably wouldn’t happen but sometimes my worrying goes off on some odd tangents.
Not at any minute did any of these parents treat me any differently but it was something I worried about.
Prior to this nursery business, I never really felt down about being a single parent, I did however realise it had its major drawbacks.
There was no other parent to help me when B had his injections or when he had a meltdown sent direct from the devil himself.
There was no partner there to care for B so I could go & grab some shopping from Tesco’s or catch a meal with a friend. No one to back me up when B refused to get dressed.
Sometimes just a little back up is all I crave, a little nudge of positivity. I’m missing the little things that can make life so much easier.
Its had its positives though, I can parent B how I want without someone telling me its wrong or going against me. Actually thats a lie, thats what my mum does! Come to think of it a lot of Nanna’s do that haha!
I spoil B, I go without so he can have everything within my means. I count this as a positive, I know that may sound odd but I’m proud of what I’ve got for B.
I’ve been to single parent groups before & have never experienced what others have been through, I’ve never, to my knowledge, been treated any differently for being a single parent. In fact I’ve been treated with nothing but respect, my friends offer their help at any given time. I can’t thank them enough for that.
Sitting & thinking about it, B having a ‘single mum’ as a parent hasn’t hurt him in the slightest. He is treated & cared for like any other child. The only drawback is the help & affection for me. I am so pleased that it hasn’t affected him.
I can do without, all I want is the best for B.
So all in all to answer the question… What’s it like being a single mum?
I can honestly answer, its not all that bad. In fact as it hasn’t harmed B’s life, I am pretty happy with it.