Last year I wrote a blog post titled ‘What’s It Like Being A Single Mum? | MUMMY TALKS ‘, this year I wanted to revisit how I feel now.
Times can change matters for the better or for the worst, I will let you know what its really like being a single parent.
What Is It Like Being A Single Parent? | A Yearly Update
Last year I mentioned how when B joined nursery it was the first time that I actually became aware that I was a single parent. The nursery has been amazing to us & I feel very much at home. When Fathers day approached I was hesitant on sending B in as it was a special Forest Day school for Fathers. Thankfully they are exceptionally inclusive at B’s nursery & my dad spent the morning with him there. I will always do my best to cover B from him ever thinking he’s not got a ‘normal family’ set up. It was a little bit of a stumble for me as I felt sad that B didn’t have a father there, I got to the point where if my dad wasn’t available I wasn’t going to send B in for fear of him being upset. I’m his protector.
Thankfully in this day & age it isn’t frowned upon to be either unmarried or single with a child, well in most cultures anyway. I never feel judged for being on my own, in fact I feel people are exceptionally supportive. I am lucky to have a good support network with my parents & with a great bunch of friends. I can only imagine it would be harder to be going it fully alone without the support of anyone. For those parents that do that I have the utmost respect for them. Being a parent is hard whether you are in a partnership or single, having no support network makes life exceptionally hard. Even though I have the help its not quite the same as having a partner there supporting me & being a father to B.
B hasn’t had the best time since Christmas with niggling issues. Mainly being toilet issues. Seeing him in physical pain was awful, not having someone there to support him & me or give him a different face to argue with was hard.
I would get B off to sleep & bawl my eyes out with worry & stress over the situation, the lack of movement not my lack of partner! It really hit me how hard it is being a single parent when your child is ill. Sometimes a different face to the one you’ve had in front of you all day is enough to help. This year has been filled with these moments where I’ve craved having someone. The support for both myself & B would have made the situations we had over the past 7 months that little bit more bearable.
I caught a glimpse of what life would be like with a partner last year but lets just say all wasn’t what it seemed. It made me realise how the dynamics of life would be different & far easier to deal with. I had someone to go to with my problems & all the other good bits that come with having a male around. That sounds rude & I actually don’t mean it in that sense haha! I have noticed for the past year all my friends, especially male friends B absolutely LOVES their attention. I think its a normal thing but he really does get attached to my male friends.
For instance someone who I will refer to as E quickly became B’s dream friend. It did make me realise that even though these people being around as only friends it may seem different to B so I am always really open with him & explain they are just friends & not his dad!
I will also not introduce him to any partner I get until the time I feel that its appropriate to do so.
B will be moving up to his new school come September & the bundles of paperwork I have to go through is unreal. `Clearly none of the forms are set out for a single parent so having to fill half the paperwork in is annoying me as it just looks wrong.
See this is a job I will delegate to someone when I finally settle down, it’s a major source of irritation haha!
It wasn’t great going to meetings alone or answering peoples questions at the meet up but I’ve learnt a lot over the past year, I know we’re(Myself & B) strong on our own & we are in a better position than most for B to succeed in life. We don’t have any negativity being sent in our direction & we can just get on with whats important, B having a happy, fun filled & successful life, with as little stress as possible.
This year has really been a push, doing it alone has been hard but SO worth the stress. My son has blossomed into a more confident truly stunning little munchkin. We’ve had our ups & our downs but we’ve done exceptionally well together.
We are a great team & when it’s time for another person(s) – if they have children – to join us then we’ll be in a great position to welcome them in. Being a single parent is a slog, its fun, its hard, its easy, its confusing, its EVERYTHING you expect parenthood to be.
See last years post – WHAT’S IT LIKE BEING A SINGLE MUM? | MUMMY TALKS
**PLEASE NOTE** This post was written months ago, I’ve just found it whilst searching & wanted to share.