As parents there’s stuff our parents did to use that we flat out said we would never in a million years do once we had our own children. If you don’t have children & plan to in the future, trust me you’ll be doing some of the things listed below even if you read them now & swear to yourself that you would never!
30 Things You Never Thought You’d Do Before Having A Child
#1 – Crawling around the room sniffing bums to check which baby did a poop
#2 – Hidden in the bathroom to eat something in peace so I don’t have to share with my toddler Me, Him, The Dog and A Baby
#3 – Live on 3 hours sleep and not complain about it. Somehow I managed to keep 2 babies alive and get all my tasks done at the same time. Before kids I would have felt like the world had ended if I had only 3 hours sleep!
#4 – Gone to bed at 9pm! My 7 month old still wakes 2-3 times a night so I go to bed early to bank the extra sleep. I wish I was only as tired now as I used to complain of being before having children!
#5 – Licked my fingers and scrubbed someones face with my spit
#6 – Stood up for someone. Having Jude in my life has made me a much stronger person and I don’t let anyone walk over me or him now
Living With A Jude
#7 – I never thought I would understand a child’s little language. I used to laugh at parents who would say they new exactly what their child was saying, even if it was gibberish. I now know exactly what she wants and it’s amazing!
My Girls and Me
#8 – Eating my Childs Easter Eggs..Oh the shame!!
#9 – Cooked and prepared ‘meals’ for Kevin the Carrot, ‘Pizza’ rabbit and held a birthday party for baby hedgehog soft toys.
*This one is amazing, a level of parenting I refuse to go to haha! *
Dirt, Diggers and Dinosaurs
#10 – Get excited about going to bed at 9pm when you don’t have the kids. Hide in a cupboard to scoff chocolate and biscuits
Jades Long Journey
#11 – I never would have joined the National Trust! But it’s been fab with the little one!
Me and B Make Tea
#12 – I would never have had to pick anyones noses! (snotty noses go through me, so of course, I’m the one who’s got to clean them – urgh!)
Life As Mum
#13 – Bought a roof box! Without a doubt my most grown up purchase to date.
Looking After Your Pennies
#14 – Have to shout “You’re going to be pooing glitter!
The Blog Genie
#15 – Caught sick in my hands!!
Country Heart and Home
#16 – Been completely unphased by getting another person’s poop on me and just casually wiping it off before getting on with my day
The Mum Conundrum
#17 – That I would would be on first name terms with the receptionist at my local minor injuries unit…
Household Money Saving
#18 – Pulled a piece of compacted poo out of someone’s bum
Rock and Roll Pussycat
#19 – I’ve never been able to get excited about going to the toilet on my own before having kids. Totally took that one for granted!
#20 – Taken more notice of my mums advice. Only after becoming a mum myself do I realise that she was actually right about most things (annoyingly!)
Our Altered Life
#21 – Yelled the words ‘THERE’S KIDS IN AFRICA WHO ARE STARVING AND HERE’S YOU MESSING ABOUT WITH A BANANA LIKE THEY JUST GROW ON TREES’ with absolutely no hint of irony whatsoever.
#22 – Eaten half chewed toddler food because I’m so hungry yet too tired to cook
#23 – Eaten anything going around the supermarket without paying for it. Always said I wouldn’t do it! Yes, I am one of those mums that pacifies my child with food on the big shop!
A Rose Tinted World
#24 – Talked openly about my little bits and fupa after having children.
#25 – Adopting a 10 second rule for picking up and eating food that has fallen on to the floor
#26 – Have extensive in depth conversations with virtual strangers about our children’s poo habits. Not to mention chats about nits, worms, cracked boobs, fanny daggers… I have zero shame or filter left since having kids
#27 – When your idea of a wild night consists of 1 glass of wine and in bed by 9:30pm
Mom Of Two
#28 – Pooped in front of someone else. I never ever thought I could do it but my child has given me NO choice!
#29 – Bring an iPad to a restaurant to keep my child calm & busy. They really are a life saver
#30 – Have a child that tantrums and lies on the floor in public!
#31 – Call my husband ‘Daddy’ when I’m talking to him. It always drove me insane when I heard other people do it, and I’ve caught myself doing it on a few occasions.
#32 – Argue over why you can’t have sweets before bedtime only to agree to it after 30 minutes of arguing
#33 – Watched the Greatest Showman 4 times a day
#34 – Breastfeed once baby got teeth
#35 – Enjoyed picking someone elses bogies (Yes this one is mine!)