Before I got pregnant I never talked about pregnancy with any of my friends or family so never had an opinion on the process, good or bad. The minute people found out I was pregnant the horrific pregnancy & labour stories started. People tried to affect my positivity surrounding the birth of my son. Let’s stop this behaviour & start supporting one another.
‘You won’t possibly be able have a pain relief free labour, it’s so bad you just won’t cope’
For those of you soon to be mothers or women thinking of having a baby, I managed to go pain relief free. Even with my boil haha! I won’t lie because of my weird second sac of waters I was in a state till they cleared. However, I can honestly say the pushing part of my labour was painless & my favourite part! Yeah I know, I’m odd. Who has a favourite part of labour!
‘You’ll tear & need stitches’
I didn’t tear, I had a minor graze that the midwife wanted to stitch just incase. This didn’t hurt although the injection to numb my lady bits was a bit sharp haha!
I haven’t thought of my own experiences of negativity surrounding pregnancy in labour until today.
I witnessed someone tell one of my friends that ‘Her vagina will never be the same’ once she’s had her baby. I forgot how some people seem to get off on the idea of putting you into a negative mindset for pregnancy & labour. Some people also feel the need to unload their negativity surrounding their pregnancies & labours onto you.
Its something I make sure to not do.
My pregnancy was pretty cack but I don’t look to spread that negativity to anyone, I want to spread awareness of what I went through not scare people with it.
So WHY should we keep allow everyone a positive outlook on their pregnancy & labour?
Why on earth should we not?!
We have no right to make someone dread their pregnancy & labour, both of those things actually are different for everyone.
What we should do is make mothers & future mothers aware of issues that can arise & things they should look out for, to keep them safe & happy. For instance, My Group B Strep posts are to spread awareness NOT to scare! In that case I would rather shock people into getting tested than leaving it & something bad to happen.
Every soon to be momma should have the chance of a positive outlook. Positivity, in my personal opinion, does help both pregnancy & labour to be an ‘easier’ experience.
My Hypnobirthing helped me stay positive as much as possible throughout the end of my pregnancy & beginning of my labour. After that, shouting & swearing like a sailor helped my labour progress extremely smoothly.
You can combat this negativity
This will be easier for some than it is for others but it is possible.
You can simply ignore the comments, especially if they are purely negative orientated. It is doubtful that they are trying to help you at all instead they are just transferring their own negativity thinking onto you.
There are some instances where people think they are helping but it comes across in a bad or negative manner. In this instance I would cherry pick the helpful information from the negativity. Sometimes our comments can be misinterpreted & helpful comments are mixed in with a negative tone or word.
My favourite though, for the Negative Nigels or Negative Nancies, is to tell them where to go!
Tell them that you will have a calm & relaxed pregnancy & labour & that you don’t wish to hear their negative stories.
Some people may not even realise the effect their words can have on you so it may always be a good idea to mention that something has upset you or worried you.
You could also take some time out & have a good relax, this really helped me when people had tried to frighten me with their horror birth stories. A quick half an hour in my room listening to chill out music helped me pass time & forget about the negativity that was circling around me.
If you’re reading this as a pregnant lady I wish you a happy & pain free pregnancy & labour.
If you need someone to talk to I’m here, I had my fair share of negativity in my pregnancy so I can help you through it.